Rules for Restaurants

The following 10 rules are posted as a service to restaurant workers everywhere who are too polite to say anything to rude and obnoxious patrons for fear of losing tips or even their jobs because some moron pitches a fit when they are called out for being stupid, rude or obnoxious.

  1. There are 4 kinds of toast, order one.

Order the one you want without asking, “What kind of toast do you have?”


  1. Shut up and look at the menu.

Blab to each other AFTER you order, don’t keep the waitress waiting.


  1. Don’t ask stupid questions.

If you need to know where the coffee was grown or the name of the hen who hatched the egg, eat at home.


  1. Don’t flirt with the waitress.

The same table of old men every day really?  The line and the men get OLD fast.


  1. Control your kids.

I know you think they’re cute, they’re NOT, keep them quiet and sitting with you.


  1. Control your voice.

I know you think what you have to say is important, it’s NOT and saying it LOUD doesn’t make it any smarter, shut-up, others are trying to converse normally.


  1. Put your cell phone ringer on buzz.

No one wants to hear your crappy ring tone for 3 minutes while you fumble through your coat to find your phone blasting away.


  1. Don’t talk on your cell phone in the restaurant.

We don’t want to hear you blab.  Go outside and spare us the boring details


  1. No video clips.

The rest of us do not want to hear your stupid YouTube video, save it for the taxi ride home and bore the driver to death


  1. Kids video games.

Just say NO and actually pay attention to your kids.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s