Emperor Andrew the Adroit announced today the opening of the sixth re-education camp in Newer York. Christened Camp Covid, this facility joins the other five camps spread throughout the Adirondack region, Camp Compliance, Camp Corona, The Masked Retreat, Camp Ventilator and The Muzzled Inn.
“I am happy to tell you, the calm and compliant, that those barbarians who keep babbling about individual rights, freedoms, the Constitution, and all of that other ancestral nonsense are being aggressively re-programmed to understand the greater good of assimilating into a nice, homogenized group and letting go of those archaic notions of self.”
“Yesterdays drone spottings and satellite images were very disappointing,” declared the Emperor. “We continue to see evidence of clear-headed thinking and skepticism in many of our non-compliant neighbors. The reward monies for reporting individuals exercising their freedoms are now being boosted to $100.00 for any call resulting in the arrest and relocation of the malcontent to one of our camps.”
While Covid-19 illnesses have all but stopped, Andrew the Adroit believes that compliance, obedience and a healthy dose of fear are all that is required to make for a happy and calm citizenry. We trust that you agree, but if you don’t, we encourage your neighbor to call immediately the number we all have had to memorize, if we want that check every month, 1-800-SCREWED.